Browsing All Posts filed under »Life Lessons«

If We Are the Sum of the Roles We Play in Life; Who Are We When We Are Not Playing a Role?

April 23, 2012


How does one define their identity and their worth? Is it the roles that they play during this life, their level of activity, whether or not they are in charge or serving in some capacity? What does it say about a person who is very comfortable when placed in charge of something or similarly at ease when serving behind the scenes BUT is clearly ill-at-ease when asked to just be part of something without being asked to be in charge of it or even serving in any capacity?

In a meeting over lunch, I was challenged by the observation of a friend who pointed out that he's noticed that behavior in me. This began my meditation and mental wrestling with why I am like that and what that says about my personal assessment of my own value and worth. If all of life’s a stage, what does that say about us when we don't have an active role to play during a scene? Do we transpose this evaluation framework on other people; assessing their value based on what they do or what they might be able to do for us?

If you have ever wrestled with something similar, I encourage you to read on and hopefully share your experience(s) with me.

Perspective Makes the Difference

March 27, 2012


Have you ever noticed that in life, perspective can make all the difference on how you act, react or judge a situation or person? I’ve recently rediscovered this principle at work in my life. I am not proud of the fact but when I see someone do something which I would not do or ‘not do’ something which I believe they should do; I have begun catching myself as my first inclination is to judge that action in such a way as to ascribe a negative motivation for the action or inaction.

The reason is that whether or not we consciously acknowledge it, we all have an internal barometer or scale which we use to assess ourselves and others against. The fact that all have such an internal measure guide is not wrong in of itself. The main problem with using our own scale to evaluate actions or inactions is that our scale is fundamentally flawed. There are two primary flaws with using our own scales to evaluate ourselves and others against.

  1. Our scale is flawed in that it is biased in favor of us and biased against others.
  2. Our scale uses the wrong measurement criteria.

Let me explain.