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Personal Exploration of People, Personalities and Meaning
Browsing All posts tagged under »Be the exception to the rule«
If We Are the Sum of the Roles We Play in Life; Who Are We When We Are Not Playing a Role?
How does one define their identity and their worth? Is it the roles that they play during this life, their level of activity, whether or not they are in charge or serving in some capacity? What does it say about a person who is very comfortable when placed in charge of something or similarly at ease when serving behind the scenes BUT is clearly ill-at-ease when asked to just be part of something without being asked to be in charge of it or even serving in any capacity?
In a meeting over lunch, I was challenged by the observation of a friend who pointed out that he's noticed that behavior in me. This began my meditation and mental wrestling with why I am like that and what that says about my personal assessment of my own value and worth. If all of life’s a stage, what does that say about us when we don't have an active role to play during a scene? Do we transpose this evaluation framework on other people; assessing their value based on what they do or what they might be able to do for us?
If you have ever wrestled with something similar, I encourage you to read on and hopefully share your experience(s) with me.
Perspective Makes the Difference
March 27, 2012
Have you ever noticed that in life, perspective can make all the difference on how you act, react or judge a situation or person? I’ve recently rediscovered this principle at work in my life. I am not proud of the fact but when I see someone do something which I would not do or ‘not do’ something which I believe they should do; I have begun catching myself as my first inclination is to judge that action in such a way as to ascribe a negative motivation for the action or inaction.
The reason is that whether or not we consciously acknowledge it, we all have an internal barometer or scale which we use to assess ourselves and others against. The fact that all have such an internal measure guide is not wrong in of itself. The main problem with using our own scale to evaluate actions or inactions is that our scale is fundamentally flawed. There are two primary flaws with using our own scales to evaluate ourselves and others against.
- Our scale is flawed in that it is biased in favor of us and biased against others.
- Our scale uses the wrong measurement criteria.
Let me explain.
Emancipate Yourself from Mental Slavery: Freethinker or Well Programmed Automaton
September 27, 2011
Like Rome of old, each one of us knowingly or unknowingly incorporates personal experiences into our existing playbook; the repertoire of who we are and how we interact with the world around us. It can be as mundane and innocent as incorporating lines from movies into day-to-day communications with friends. I can recall how 25-40% of my vocabulary with friends in high school was driven from endlessly repeating lines from movies or television shows like: Stripes, Caddyshack, SCTV, Blade Runner, Harold and Maude, Repo Man, etc. Why, because in that community of friends, it was expected. It was understood that if you wanted to engage with these folks successfully, you needed to have a familiarity with these kinds of movies or shows. People gained their sense of identify from being in that group.
Christmas Tree Compromise
September 13, 2011
I know it's too early to start talking about Christmas, but I was thinking that many relationships or marriages are like picking out a Christmas Tree. These two roommates both love Christmas, but each of them has a very specific type of Christmas Tree that they like. One likes tall and thin trees while they other likes short and fat trees. Since they can't agree upon the type of tree that they like, they decide to compromise and a medium-sized tree and they both accept it but neither of them is truly delighted with it.
Be the Exception to the Rule
August 25, 2011
People in the church often err by labeling groups of people with broad strokes (e.g. liberals, democrats, homosexuals, etc.) and not spend the time to see that all people are unique individuals. There may be similarities, but just as all church attenders are not identical clones of one another, people outside of the church are not either, regardless of what group one labels them with. The reverse is also true, non-church folks tend to label church folks as all being hypocrites, illogical, insecure or hateful. If that were true, how do they account for Billy Graham, C.S. Lewis, Dietrich Bonhoeffer or Mother Theresa? Here’s the hope. When we individually as Christians engage non-Christians in a Christ-like manner, an amazing thing happens; it helps to falsify the stereotype of Christians that others may have previously held. Individuals impacted by our Christ-like actions can no longer claim (at least not honestly) or live comfortably with their previous label for “all Christians”. They are forced to broaden their prior stereotypical thinking to now include, at the very least, exceptions to the rule. They can no longer use “All Christians are…” because they now know a Christian who does not do that. It’s a two way street. As the Christian, in this case my friend, got to know this transgendered individual as a unique person with common human fears, hurts, dreams and hope – we begin to see others more and more like ourselves. Our common humanity is reinforced and mankind’s artificial “walls of separation” are broken down, if only a little bit.
Scripta Manent 
April 23, 2012
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