Christmas Tree Compromise

Posted on September 13, 2011


I know it’s too early to start talking about Christmas, but I was thinking that many relationships or marriages are like picking out a Christmas Tree.  Consider this true life example.  These two roommates both love Christmas, but each of them has a very specific type of Christmas Tree that they like.  One likes tall and thin trees while they other likes short and fat trees.  Since they can’t agree upon the type of tree that they will get, they decide to compromise and purchase a medium-sized tree.  They both accept it but neither of them is truly delighted with it.

There are many relationship/marriages that are like this.  Two individuals walking solitary paths, both living lives of compromise; acceptable to each but with neither party experiencing true delight.

Now, some may say that you should compromise.  It’s the right thing to do, but I would disagree.  I don’t believe that you should compromise.  When we compromise, we actually take the middle path, which seems right, but in reality it is designed precisely to keep the other from their joy.  What if one party, out of pure “agape” love, just gave the other what they wanted and took joy in the knowledge that their loved one was truly delighted?

Wouldn’t that person experience true joy, as well,  just in seeing their beloved receive the joy they delighted in?  I think so.  Now, I am not saying that it’s an easy thing to do; putting the needs of others over the “all too human” need to satiate their own desires first, but it is the most selfless, worthwhile thing that we can aspire to.

Let someone have their way today and do it willingly and not begrudgingly; you may find that in that act alone, you begin to experience a new inner delight, just knowing the joy that you are bringing to them.